Ally McBeal

I've recently been watching a lot of "Ally McBeal" on Netflix. The show is by turns witty, ridiculous, and insightful. Frequently the show errs on the side of ridiculous. There's plenty of interesting characters with awesome catch phrases. My favorite is John Cage, played by Peter McNicol (Not to be confused with the American composer who wrote the piece 4'33"). John Cage is famous for his antics in the courtroom - wearing squeaky shoes, getting the jury to speak in unison "silly," "throwing" his stomach gurgle. It's especially interesting watching a show that has aged so well. It lasted from 1997-2002. In the past decade, it has not lost its humor the way some shows have. Its fashion style is still poorly out of date, but that's life.

I was hooked after the third episode. Tate Donovan guest starred. He's a personal favorite of mine because I think he's cute in Love Potion No. 9. Now, I'm to the third season (after a few days of diligently crocheting and watching TV while coming up with some lackluster lesson plans).

So, I went back to find the quotes that I found so catching when I watched the first few episodes. Yet, all the quote websites seemed to focus on quotes that I found irrelevant (though, admittedly, funny). Most of them focus on Ally's neuroses. “I don't want what I want, and I want what I don't want, and to complicate it even more, I don't even know what I want or don't want!”

So, I took it upon myself to look up the scene again. In it, Ally storms into Ronnie's (Donovan) office, demanding to know why he dumped her. He gives her the most insightful reason - especially insightful for someone who'd only been on a date or two with her.

Your favorite book, Henderson the Rain King?
Yeah.
You identifying with Henderson, the guy going around saying, "I want, I want, I want, I want."
Yeah.
Well, that makes for an interesting character, Ally. And when you print your life story, I'll be waiting on line at the bookstore. But for a partner? I don't know if I want to sign up with the person who knows that she's gonna be wanting forever.
Ronnie - I - I - I was making conversation. We were dancing. I was just saying that so you would know that I read books.
No. No. That's just you all over, Ally. The day you stop wanting is the day you begin to die. You - You go through people. You'll go through me.
That is just-just-just so -
True.
So what are you saying? That I'm the kind of person who can never be happy?
I think you'll know more happiness than most. You just won't be content.

I feel that we're bombarded with conflicting stories. We're told to learn to be content with what we have. We're told to reach for the stars. No dream is too big. In my American Film class, we talked about people who had the capacity to change - as in, they were constantly changing and evolving. The characters we studied were bigger than their surroundings. They wanted more. They were "awakened."

A perfect example is this classic quote from Moonstruck. I'm not a huge fan of Nicolas Cage or Cher, but this is a great scene.

"That woman didn't leave you, OK. You can't see what you are, and I see everything... You are a wolf!... That woman was a trap for you. She caught you and you couldn't get away. So you, you chewed off your own foot. That was the price you had to pay for your freedom... And now, now you're afraid because you know the big part of you is a wolf that has the courage to bite off its own hand to save itself from the trap of the wrong love. That's why there's been no woman since that wrong woman. OK? You're scared to death of what the wolf would do if you try and make that mistake again!"

I'm not sure if I'm able to perfectly articulate the similarities here. I identify them with this sense of yearning - knowing that there is more out there than what you have. I think that's why Nicolas Cage loses his hand - he needs to be free to seek what's more. This is why Ally can't find love. She's always looking for more. Something bigger, something greater. So she sabotages herself. This is the same reason she's constantly inventing realistic daydreams and the reason she identifies so strongly with music, which is a base, emotional form of communication.

Ally is an imperfect character. She's self-centered, a fact that is openly acknowledged in the show. Her oddities are extreme, but I think one of the reasons "Ally McBeal" was such a popular show (other than clever writing) was that it caught the post-college crowd. She's a fairly recent law school grad trying to figure out her life and get it together. She's trying to find the contentedness we've been promised since we were children. All the way through school, we have goals. You've got to get good grades in high school to get to college. You've got to get good grades in college to get into grad school, to get the fellowship, to get the job. But once you have that - what's next?